Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
