Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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