I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
