I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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