Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pee around me
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize