You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
