I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
