called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
