i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
