she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
There's even glitter on my cock...
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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