Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
