You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I met the friendliest cop last night
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
