I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
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