I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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