Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
