hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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