my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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