She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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