I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
