Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize