Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
