I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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