I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
