She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
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U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
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She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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