but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
