Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
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You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
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And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I forgot wine drunk hurts
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Will exercising make me less horny?
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