shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
