I feel great
I just peed on a car
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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