why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
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