fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
