I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
