I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
