Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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