the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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