I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
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And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
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I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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