Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Randomize
