Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.

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  (215): Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless. http://tfl.nu/tw3i
  Replies (142) Good night (2391) Bad night (2133)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.

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  (715): I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed. http://tfl.nu/mebd
  Replies (21) Good night (4635) Bad night (776)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire

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  (757): No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire http://tfl.nu/j9c5
  Replies (3) Good night (3159) Bad night (883)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.

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  (402): He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house. http://tfl.nu/iz51
  Replies (9) Good night (1607) Bad night (3273)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.

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  (201): Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues. http://tfl.nu/ggrc
  Replies (11) Good night (1083) Bad night (2713)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?

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  (630): I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room? http://tfl.nu/9f6x
  Replies (11) Good night (567) Bad night (1530)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.

  (360): View more from Washington

  DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.

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  (360): Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid. (360): DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY. http://tfl.nu/38em
  Replies (8) Good night (2537) Bad night (449)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.

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  (407): I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs. http://tfl.nu/utt1
  Replies (9) Good night (2242) Bad night (461)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.

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  (952): High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog. http://tfl.nu/sw6f
  Replies (5) Good night (1655) Bad night (383)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.

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  (757): Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party. http://tfl.nu/ny5q
  Replies (5) Good night (1581) Bad night (419)
• Favorite

  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads

  (1-787): View more from Puerto Rico

  Croutons?

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  (787): He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads (1-787): Croutons? http://tfl.nu/yr5t
  Replies (3) Good night (1482) Bad night (311)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.

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  (912): He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it. http://tfl.nu/1cfw
  Replies (3) Good night (879) Bad night (271)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car

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  (727): You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car http://tfl.nu/u1q1
  Replies (1) Good night (597) Bad night (183)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.

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  (479): I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital. http://tfl.nu/6mwi
  Replies (1) Good night (619) Bad night (234)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.

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  (305): No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night. http://tfl.nu/ytkw
  Replies (1) Good night (160) Bad night (438)

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