I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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