hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall