I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
3pm strippers are depressing
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE