Texts From Last Night

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  (404): View more from Georgia

  i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".

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  (404): i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ". http://tfl.nu/tf5y
  Replies (388) Good night (41277) Bad night (4233)
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  (585): View more from New York

  are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?

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  (585): are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet? http://tfl.nu/shbs
  Replies (31) Good night (5286) Bad night (1930)
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  (714): View more from California

  i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..

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  (714): i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats.. http://tfl.nu/8g2i
  Replies (19) Good night (1466) Bad night (4418)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.

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  (253): I just did a sobriety test in a tutu. http://tfl.nu/m861
  Replies (5) Good night (3384) Bad night (830)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.

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  (860): Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know. http://tfl.nu/9803
  Replies (5) Good night (842) Bad night (1388)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?

  (1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

  FUCK YOU MAN

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  (717): Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in? (1-717): FUCK YOU MAN http://tfl.nu/h049
  Replies (3) Good night (1687) Bad night (719)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.

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  (603): Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear. http://tfl.nu/x2nz
  Replies (6) Good night (1621) Bad night (524)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"

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  (859): Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed" http://tfl.nu/i5mp
  Replies (6) Good night (2030) Bad night (480)
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  (470): View more from Georgia

  My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.

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  (470): My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time. http://tfl.nu/utoz
  Replies (6) Good night (1639) Bad night (491)
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  (424): View more from California

  The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "

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  (424): The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here " http://tfl.nu/afkn
  Replies (8) Good night (3172) Bad night (559)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.

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  (317): Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things. http://tfl.nu/c5bt
  Replies (3) Good night (918) Bad night (302)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.

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  (423): I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way. http://tfl.nu/5vvj
  Replies (5) Good night (1095) Bad night (393)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...

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  (785): I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench... http://tfl.nu/97xe
  Replies (1) Good night (472) Bad night (329)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."

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  (732): Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run." http://tfl.nu/l7f2
  Replies (0) Good night (630) Bad night (302)
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  (323): View more from California

  Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"

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  (323): Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?" http://tfl.nu/dewe
  Replies (4) Good night (1273) Bad night (518)

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