i would punch a child for taco bell
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..