Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....