Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.