whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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