FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
25 Adults Reveal The Most Embarrassing Stories From When They Were Kids
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk