If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
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I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
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I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.