Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
