she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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