Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
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I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
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Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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