Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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