easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize