I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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