Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
