Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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