I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...