the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
