Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
