I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
