we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
