she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
