i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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