ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
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