i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
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