My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
