This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
