dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize