Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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