Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize