I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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